Answer by Justine Musk:
Extreme success results from an extreme personality and comes at the cost of many other things. Extreme success is different from what I suppose you could just consider 'success', so know that you don't have to be Richard or Elon to be affluent and accomplished and maintain a great lifestyle. Your odds of happiness are better that way. But if you're an extreme person, you have no choice but to be what you are, and happiness is more or less beside the point. These people tend to be freaks and misfits who were forced to experience the world in an unusually challenging way. They developed strategies to survive, and as they grow older they find ways to apply these strategies to other things, and create for themselves a distinct and powerful advantage. They don't think the way other people think. They see things from angles that unlock new ideas and insights. Other people consider them to be somewhat insane.
If you're not obsessed, then stop what you're doing and find whatever does obsess you. It helps to have an ego, but you must be in service to something bigger if you are to inspire the people you need to help you (and make no mistake, you will need them). That 'something bigger' prevents you from going off into the ether when people flock round you and tell you how fabulous you are when you aren't and how great your stuff is when it isn't. Don't pursue something because you "want to be great". Pursue something because it fascinates you, because the pursuit itself engages and compels you. Extreme people combine brilliance and talent with an *insane* work ethic, so if the work itself doesn't drive you, you will burn out or fall by the wayside or your extreme competitors will crush you and make you cry.
Follow your obsessions until a problem starts to emerge, a big meaty challenging problem that impacts as many people as possible, that you feel hellbent to solve or die trying. It might take years to find that problem, because you have to explore different bodies of knowledge, collect the dots and then connect and complete them.
It helps to have superhuman energy and stamina. If you are not blessed with godlike genetics, then make it a point to get into the best shape possible. There will be jet lag, mental fatigue, bouts of hard partying, pointless meetings, major setbacks, family drama, people who bore and annoy you, little sleep, less sleep than that. Keep your body sharp to keep your mind sharp. It pays off.
Learn to handle a level of stress that would break most people.
Don't follow a pre-existing path, and don't look to imitate your role models. There is no "next step". Extreme success is not like other kinds of success; what has worked for someone else, probably won't work for you. They are individuals with bold points of view who exploit their very particular set of unique and particular strengths. They are unconventional, and one reason they become the entrepreneurs they become is because they can't or don't or won't fit into the structures and routines of corporate life. They are dyslexic, they are autistic, they have ADD, they are square pegs in round holes, they piss people off, get into arguments, rock the boat, laugh in the face of paperwork. But they transform weaknesses in ways that create added advantage — the strategies I mentioned earlier — and seek partnerships with people who excel in the areas where they have no talent whatsoever.
They do not fear failure — or they do, but they move ahead anyway. They will experience heroic, spectacular, humiliating, very public failure but then find a way to reframe until it isn't failure at all. When they fail in ways that other people won't, they learn things that other people never do. They have incredible grit and resilience.
They are unlikely to be reading stuff like this. They would rather read a biography of Alexander the Great or Catherine the Great or someone else they consider to be Great. They have an insatiable hunger for information and will plunge to the dark depths of their chosen subject (see that bit about obsession, above).
I could go on, it's a fascinating subject, but you get the idea. I wish you luck, strength, and a stiff drink when you need it.
In retrospect, I consider myself incredibly lucky for the opportunity to study and live abroad at the age of 17. I grew up in a protective middle class family in the small bubble town of Dehradun. In search of my independence, I applied to and got accepted in a university abroad, and flew away with a big study loan and bigger dreams.
I remember being extremely nervous about traveling out of the country all by myself. There are too many myths circulated among Indian families, and after years of traveling, I hope to simplify it for you:
1) How to choose your first foreign destination?
My advice: Don’t follow the crowds.
I’ve met many travelers who swarm to museums abroad just because everyone else does, even though they don’t particularly enjoy art or…
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“The world is full of rooms
and no place to remain.”
Hauntingly beautiful verse from Li-Young Lee (1957- ).
“Every Circle Wider”
Silver, the women sing of their bodies
and the men. Darker, the men sing
of their ancestors and the women.
Darkest is the children’s ambition
to sing every circle wider. Dying,
each sings at the edge of what he knows,
pregnant with the unknown, that chasm
sustained trembling (called singing) makes visible
Criminal, my recalling that country’s songs
and never intending to go back. No word
comes from there, but remembering
is steam and engine, my voice
filling and emptying as I sing:
The world is full of people
and no one at all.
The world is full of horns,
and none of them are to be found.
The world is full of rooms
and no place to remain.
The world is full of light,
but no one’s seen a thing.
The world is all dark, yet a…
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At this stage in life, I’m totally not sure, as it flips either ways. I work best when I put my mind into something which is regardless of the hour of the day
I did make one earlier, which you can read here. Guess it needs more additions. 😉 And wondering when even the first one will be crossed out 😦
“I wondered about the explorers who’d sailed their ships to the end of the world. How terrified they must have been when they risked falling over the edge; how amazed to discover, instead, places they had seen only in their dreams.”
― Jodi Picoult, Handle With Care