fear

People are afraid of all kinds of things: spiders, the dark, or being enclosed in small spaces. Tell us about your greatest fear — rational or irrational.

I’m considered a brave/courageous person, which I too agree with unhesitatingly (well one of the few good qualities I possess that is :P) But in reality, just like any other person, I too have some, rather big long term fears. And it can be incorrect to even put it that way technically, to put it bluntly what I fear is dying alone without being loved or remembered (I guess perhaps suicide is not an option for me anytime eh?)

Being in my 20s at the moment I know it’s a bit far-fetched thought, but well I always felt strange about that. To elaborate more on it:
– I fear what if I don’t have the courage to live the life true to myself? What if I don’t find it?
– What if it’s too late to express my feelings?
– What if I’m unable to find happiness?

This kinda points towards depression and loneliness, but in the end these thoughts are usually in the back of my head. Also this article helped me phrase my own, which I resonate with, Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed. You can see I mean exactly the same thing, with just the catch being I haven’t even begun living yet!

It’s interesting to think if someone was locked in a room with what they fear and how their reactions will be. What is more interesting, is what that fear will look like, especially if it’s not a ‘real world object’. Please note, there is a difference between having a certain phobia and having a fear of something (or someone)

So what if I was locked up in a room with my greatest fear? How would the room be?

I try to think about it. The room would be full dark and void. As I would look around I would see pieces of floating, moving images… of various points of my life. Like video clips of certain parts of your favourite movie(s). That would be my room of fear.

Choices, which I could have made, but never did.

I’m no way the type who would tend not to cling on the past but there comes a time now and then where I’m reminded of many of the (countless) choices I have made, but for some reason I never did. Things I could have done but didn’t. Which I’m supposed to but I’m not doing it. Perhaps changing my life over and/or of others’ but didn’t. That is my fear.

Not as interesting like seeing someone afraid of insects shrieking out when seeing a spider or someone pissing themselves over heights, but well that is my story.