Yes, you who revel in South Indian stereotypes. You who believe that we ‘Madrasis’ actually say ‘Yenna Rascalla’ out loud.

Read, and learn.

1. Geography: ‘South’ is a direction; Karnataka, Andhra Pradesh, Kerala and Tamil Nadu are states. Hubli is in Karnataka, Hooghly in Paschimbanga. Tirupati, Tirunelveli and Thiruvananthapuram are not baaju baaju mein. And Sri Lanka is more than a paddle-boat ride away.

2. Languages: ‘Andu-Gundu-Naaru-Gundu’ may have profound meaning in modern Haryanvi, but is gibberish in Kannada, Telugu, Malayalam, Tamil and Tulu. ‘South Indian’ is not a language – Tamilians will comprehend Telugu the day Mamtadidi spouts Gujarati. It kills me when you blurt out ‘Illay Illay Po’, and howl, as though what translates to ‘No No Go’ is somehow tremendously funny.

3. Pronunciations: Do not attempt to sing the Malayalam lines from ‘Jiya Jale’. Notice how even Lata Mangeshkar didn’t? Touch the tip…