“How are you?”

If there is one question I hate from the bottom of my not so existing heart, it’s this one. And its other alternative forms.

I mean seriously, isn’t that the most just-for-the-fucking-sake-of-it asked question without even a single thought to it? Why ask it to someone when you don’t even care and perhaps not going to see him/her for the next ten years or so, perhaps ever again? Heck I have seen people asking that just while passing by, like walking, asking “Hi/Hey, how are you?” without stopping one’s pace of walking. Wait, aren’t you supposed to answer that? Is it today’s extension of a simple hello? And to my shame, unaware to my sharp ninja senses even I have fallen prey to it a couple of times, so much is the effect because of the humans around.

And not only the question itself, but the answer(s) to it is another pain. Anybody would agree, that “I’m fine.” is perhaps the world’s biggest lie, followed by “I’ve read the terms & conditions” when installing a piece of software. And after hearing out the person for 10 minutes, if the conversation actually lasts beyond that in the first place, you will find out how not so fine the person actually is. Oh the irony.

I’m always confused on how to respond to this question when asked, from someone whom I know very, for many years or whom I just met or know; and irrespective of the circumstance I’m in, whether I’m cool or in deep shit (which usually is the case).

So among the other annoying questions like “What do you want to do with/in your future?”, “Do you have a job?”, “Why you have such long hair/beard” and more, and some in general, especially the pathetic one “Do you cook?” generally asked by the backward mentality people here to females with whom I sincerely sympathize.

These questions really annoy me, and it becomes worse when you are advised/preached upon by arbitrary people, most likely by good for nothing relatives or colleagues of my parents. I just respond smiling/shaking hands/bro fist/embracing, depending upon how well I know the person and how much I really care. Hey, I do get away with it most of the time.

So when I’m asked this question, I will follow this brilliant advice by Andreas and just resort to simply saying “yes” or “I’m sweaty”, or get into detailed explanations of how my current situation is, how hungry I always am, why Batman is the true god, and how stupid people really are, without being much rude, as it is I’m not much of a social person. In this process, just sow confusion and subtly hint the questioner that he/she has no reasonable thought or genuine care with his/her question and it just being a thoughtless repetition of words of the ever same phrase. And I could direct them to here saving myself some effort and get some more readers too.

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5 thoughts on ““How are you?”

  1. Loved your post…Cant agree more…I think ‘How are you’ is a formal way to start a conversation…The person asking (in most cases) is not bothered about your response….Its like an ice-breaker question….

    • yes, the ice-breaking part doesn’t make sense, if I just meet you and want to know more about you, I should say that directly instead of asking ‘how are you?’ as I wouldn’t give a dam if I don’t know you in the first place!

  2. Oh yes, the “what do you want to do with your future?” question is also most annoying. Especially since I study philosophy. People can’t imagine that I am doing just for fun, for enjoyment, for satisfaction, without the purpose of landing a certain job and sitting at a desk for 30 years.

    • Yes, that is true. And the sad part in relation with this is people tend to confuse life with a piece of paper, aka CV and you can’t do something creative and live life on your own terms different from society’s convention.

  3. Pingback: Polite Company? | The Nameless One

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