I’d like to begin with:
Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.
Well, unless you wind up dead before your time that is. To much of my dismay, I seldom think I grew up, and I actually at times get the thought more that I’m old. It’s because I don’t think I personally done something worthwhile (so far) in life. Growing up is more to do with responsibilities towards yourself and others, while I’m most often trapped in the supposed to but ain’t phase.
Ironically to make things worse, (well not completely) last week was my birthday. I turned 21. As I said earlier, the cake is a lie. I feel bit crappier now. But in any case, I don’t like to think of being trapped in the illusion of time and particularly ‘growing’, old or up.